Loving someone through this is hard, too.

Talk about it without shaming

Criticism and ultimatums usually trigger defensiveness; warmth and honesty open a door. A few principles:

• Pick a calm moment — not mid-game, not mid-argument. Ask if it's an okay time to talk.
• Use "I" statements. "I miss spending time with you and I've been worried" lands far better than "You're always on that game."
• Be specific and caring about what you've noticed, without piling on a list of grievances.
• Get curious. Ask what they get from gaming and what's going on for them. You may learn the gaming is covering stress, low mood, or loneliness.
• Listen more than you lecture. Feeling heard makes people far more willing to consider change.
• Avoid labels. "You're an addict" rarely helps; describing the impact on real life does.

Set boundaries — kind, but firm

Boundaries aren't punishments or threats; they're how you protect your own wellbeing and your shared life. The key is that a boundary is about your actions, not controlling theirs.

• Decide what you need — device-free meals, certain evenings together, honesty about spending — and say it clearly and calmly.
• State the boundary, not an ultimatum. "I'm going to have dinner at the table at 7; I'd love you to join me" rather than "If you don't stop, I'm done."
• Follow through gently and consistently. A boundary you don't keep teaches that it isn't real.
• You can't control their choices — only your responses. That can be freeing as much as it's hard.

Support change without controlling it

• Encourage, don't nag. Constant monitoring and reminders often breed resentment and secrecy.
• Notice and name progress — even small steps. Positive attention reinforces change better than criticism.
• Help fill the void. Invite them to do things together; help rebuild offline connection and routine.
• Let them own it. Lasting change has to be theirs. Your job is support, not management.
• Avoid covering for them. Shielding them from natural consequences can quietly remove a reason to change.

Take care of yourself, too

This part is not optional, and it's not selfish. Supporting someone through any addiction is draining, and you can't pour from an empty cup.

• Keep your own life going — your friendships, interests, sleep, and routines.
• Find your own support. Family support groups exist (for example, OLG-Anon, connected to On-Line Gamers Anonymous), as do therapists who help loved ones of people with addictions.
• Let go of guilt. You didn't cause this, and you can't single-handedly cure it.
• Know your limits. It's okay to step back to protect your own health. That's not abandonment — it's survival.

When to seek professional help

Encourage professional support if the problem is serious or persistent, if it's tangled with depression or anxiety, or if you feel stuck. You can offer to help them find a therapist or to make the first call together — but you can also seek guidance for yourself, regardless of whether they're ready. The getting help and resources pages are good starting points. If your loved one may be in danger or talks about suicide, call or text 988 right away, and don't leave them alone.